Being a Mom is the Defining Quality of my Life

Being a mom isn't just a label with me, it's something I live and breathe. On October 8th 1990 just after eleven in the evening, my oldest came into the world, officially giving me the distinction of mom. It was my youngest, on January 21st 1994 who gave me my biggest dream I had, making me a stay at home mom and that may have been the happiest day of my life to that point.

I was one of those women who knew before I could get the test to agree with me, that I was pregnant. Alec and I had weekly dates the entire time he was inside me, that's still one of the most special times in my life. I read to them both, each having special books. I picked out special stuffed animals to be their first "best friends" I decorated nurseries and I talked and sang to them constantly. I even spent time journaling all my hopes, fears and joys of being their moms.

Being a mom, it's what I was created for. I think in so many ways, I'd waited for that moment all my life. I remember being a child with my dolls and knowing that was all I wanted to do. As a teen I used to daydream in the baby section of department stores. I'd look down into the crib displays and try to envision my baby in there. I remember wondering what it would be like to be pregnant and to have an infant. I remember imagining family gatherings for the holidays where I'd get to bring my new baby, but in my naivety, that's as far as I ever dreamed.

It never even occurred to me then that my babies would grow up, or that I'd have to teach them things. I never imagined the heartache of discovering dyslexia in my oldest, or the anxiety my youngest would suffer from. I never imagined home schooling. I never imagined decorating their rooms. I never imagined all the

How Two Little Puppies Taught Me I Could Risk Love Again

Pets are one of the the things universally that bring color into our lives. Whether it's an iguana in a terrarium, a pot belly pig, or a heard of rescue pets, these animals become more than simply something you care for and smile at, they become your heart.

I am a pet person and all round animal lover, but dogs... *sigh* I've always had trouble with them... I need to rephrase that, I have trouble with me and the poor pups suffer. The last dog I had that got entirely out of control, and that I later realized I'd taught him to be a biter, :-( made me certain I never wanted another dog. I simply didn't trust myself enough. It wasn't fair to the animal to be stuck with me!

Well, last year my guides started bringing up the idea of a puppy in meditation. Not a shelter dog, not a rescue, but a puppy. They wanted me to find and raise one and I fought that like you would not believe! I didn't trust myself, I didn't want the complication in my life, I worried over ever little detail and I fought and fought and fought!

Looking back now, I still

Satisfying Sex requires Self Worth

Men and women play a funny game when it comes to sex and I'm not sure either side really understands it. We have no idea who created it, we don't even have a good reason for playing it. Yet, we seem to engage in it all the same and the outcome is a lot of women who feel men are only interested in lying to, or tricking them to "get some" and men who feel like nothing they have to give us as women is appreciated or respected.

This isn't working.

It stuns me how many girls and women are still trying to find their worth through giving their bodies to men. For many women, sex isn't even enjoyable, it's simply something they agree to because they think of it as some sort of an exchange. I give you my body, you give me a moment of feeling acceptable. That is never going to work and in truth, it feeds a vicious circle. Every time you give yourself to anyone in the hopes of receiving a boost to your self worth, you are in reality feeding that self worth to an insatiable beast that will never be satisfied and in the end, leave you desolate.

If you want a man to validate you as a human being or are in search for the mythical Prince Charming who will heal all that ails you, I am begging you to stop... right now.

It's a wonderful fairy tale, the "Prince" that loves you unlike anyone has ever loved you and sees all the beauty of your soul, and as life beats and batters us and we grow more and more tired, the idea of finding this man who'll "complete" us becomes more and more desirable even as we believe in it less and less. The irony of course is that