I am a pet person and all round animal lover, but dogs... *sigh* I've always had trouble with them... I need to rephrase that, I have trouble with me and the poor pups suffer. The last dog I had that got entirely out of control, and that I later realized I'd taught him to be a biter, :-( made me certain I never wanted another dog. I simply didn't trust myself enough. It wasn't fair to the animal to be stuck with me!
Well, last year my guides started bringing up the idea of a puppy in meditation. Not a shelter dog, not a rescue, but a puppy. They wanted me to find and raise one and I fought that like you would not believe! I didn't trust myself, I didn't want the complication in my life, I worried over ever little detail and I fought and fought and fought!
Looking back now, I still
understand my struggle, but the kind of person I am is that when something is disabling my life in some way, I find the source and I stop it. This fear I had of not being a good pet owner, and dog owner specifically was keeping me from one of my true loves... pet ownership and I wasn't seeking to stop it, I was hiding from it.
I was not amused and more, I was terrified. I tried to make them my son's puppies (he loved that phase) I kinda hoped they'd just miraculously raise themselves since it was my guides idea. I did everything to avoid being with these precious little things and I regret that now so much. I lost that time with them and I missed doing so many things I'd wanted, but was too afraid.
Well, I've had Nikki and Faya for about six months now and I've definitely fallen in love with them. It surprised me to be honest just how shut down I was to love in general. I think one of the things these little pups showed me was how walled off my heart had become. Not just to pups, but to everyone!
Like so many out there, I've been hurt by everyone under the sun. I was one of those
magnets to anyone who was going to betray or abandon a person. I've got good reason to be walled off, but that's no way to live a life! I want love in my life across the board. I've always dreamed of relationships that are rooted in love and respect, but I've never achieved them. Nikki and Faya are helping teach me why and how to change that!
Originally, I hadn't seen the puppies as relationships.
Don't get me wrong, because I've had many pets and I know the highs and lows of loving them, but I saw them as something that needed my care, my guidance, my supervision. The fact that I was building a relationship with these dogs, not all that different than how you'd build a relationship with anyone else, with the joys, heartache, risk and responsibility, well, I missed that somehow. I always saw pet ownership as a responsibility, but one I wasn't always all that proficient at. In fact, I'd decided not to have any more pets after the life implosion of 2011, much the same as I'd decided not to risk my heart at all anymore.
A note to the wise, seriously watch out for all the things you slap a "never" label on. In my case it never ends well. lol
Well, I shouldn't say 'ends' because today these girls are my valentine's and I'm very pleased about that. The journey was just... grrrrr but as each day goes by. and I find myself having to choose to open my heart, and I see them learning, I see me not screwing them up horribly... I breathe just a little bit more and I trust myself just a little bit more. Not just with them, but with people.
My guides truly are always right. Yes I would have been more comfortable with cats, and when I get my own forever home, I'll find a cat to grace it with her wit and charm, but these girls are my lesson and have opened my heart again and I will always be grateful to them for that.
I'm still scared, and I'm working so hard to overcome my fears, forgive my past failures, but they remind me every day to live in the moment, because that moment is truly all that matters to them. Yes, I've made mistakes in my past with pets and people, but that doesn't have to be who I am right now. Every day we get to choose who we are and how we will relate to people. As I always say, we write the story of our lives every day... how do you want yours written?
I know I didn't want mine to be woman who's afraid to love even a puppy.
Pets bring so much to our lives and ask so little in return. I'm still struggling with so much of the training of the girls, but I won't give up, this is too important.They aren't decoration, they are my family and it's only right if I own these dogs, that I give them what they need. I'm slowly learning to relax around them, but I know I still have so far to go. I want to become a solid dog owner who's comfortable with the role... I'm scared to death... but I'm learning!
- An exercised dog is a trainable dog
The dog whisperer often meets pet owners who have failed to provide their dogs proper exercise. In his book, A Member of the Family, Millan explains that dog training becomes virtually impossible without a daily exercise routine.
$25.95; CesarMillanInc.com.
- Just like kids, dogs need a schedule
Like a temper tantrum-throwing toddler without structure in its life, a dog without a set schedule is bound to become irritable and act out. Dogs need set times for interaction, exercise, feeding and training.
- Leadership is the foundation of training
Dog training relies on the presence of one pack leader. A dog lover who assumes the role of pack leader will have successful training sessions.
- Half the battle takes place in your mind
You must have unwavering mental strength and confidence to gain the trust and respect of your dog during training sessions. Your dog can sense if you are uncertain or fear it, so you must control situations by maintaining the role of an authoritative pack leader.
- Discipline and punishment are not synonymous
Invest heavily in dog training, and there will be no need for punishment. It takes time and effort to see real improvement in your dog's behavior. Don't let your frustrations distract you from your goal to properly and successfully train your pet.
- A dog is a dog
Treating a dog in a humanized manner is perhaps the cardinal sin dog lovers commit. Love your dog, but do not treat him as a baby. Only dogs that understand their role within a family unit are actually trainable. Upset the role identification, and problems are sure to ensue.
- Dogs need boundaries
Follow Millan's example, and set boundaries in your home. If your dog's barking at company bothers you, make this a focal point of your training. If a dog's presence in an off-limits room annoys you, focus on this aspect of the dog's behavior instead.
- Consistency is key
It is easy to let a dog get away with eating off your plate "just this once," but in so doing, you are setting a dangerous precedent. How is the dog to know that tomorrow morning this is no longer acceptable behavior?
- Get all family members on board
It takes a household to properly train a dog. You, your partner and all household members need to be on the same page when it comes to acceptable and unacceptable behavior. While there only is one pack leader, the other family members still are dominant to the dog, and they must treat their relationship with it as such.
- Start today
It never is too early or too late to start working with a dog. Whether your canine companion is a puppy or a more mature dog, commit to start today and achieve with your dog what Millan refers to as "balance between people and dogs."
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