I recently had to face my fears and failures in relationships. It was something I did because I had two pivotal relationships end and I do not want to live out the rest of my life alone, or with relationships that lay flat and then fall away.
In my soul I know what we can be with one another. I know the richness that we can share, the love, the teaching, the enlightenment… it’s always been the deepest calling of my soul to have these life altering relationships, yet they always elude me.
I believe when the thing you want constantly slips through your fingers, there is something you are missing that you have control over and can change... that's powerful! I know you’ve all heard ad nauseum by now that to have good relationships in your life you need to be “open” to them, but I would like to suggest it takes more than simply being “open”. It requires intention and a willingness to look at your own ugliness... then heal it.
My experience tells me people cannot be trusted. They will betray you, abandon you and when push comes to shove, throw you under the bus. I realized through the course of many meditations, that I wear that belief on my soul and my “openness” to relationships was only going to bring to me the type of people I believed in, these people who would betray and leave me, and lo and behold, that’s all I’ve ever gotten.
The law of the universe is a bit tricky as it deals with energy rather than mere words. I was consciously sending out I’m ready for relationship, but my belief was sending out,
I’m ready for relationship with people who cannot be trusted, will betray me, abandon me and when push comes to shove, throw me under the bus. Needless to say this is not what I want. It is my fear and too often, our fears become our reality because the energy we expend on them is far stronger than our conscious thought.
I believe that by holding the belief that all people would hurt me, that was all I was allowing the universe to send me. Therefore, in my never ending quest to build the best life possible, I know I need to change my belief system here.
Yes, it’s true, most of the people who’ve come through my life to this point have hurt and betrayed me, but it is also true that on some level, that’s what I was asking the universe to send me. What’s so powerful about that statement is it means I can change it. That thought in its fullness now reads like this…
Most of the people who’ve come through my life to this point have hurt and betrayed me, I am now closing the door to anymore people with that intention and am opening my life only to those that will love, cherish and participate in the fullness of relationship with me.
This could be the biggest shift of my life.
In changing the energy I am sending out to the universe, I will most definitely get back whole new experiences. In changing my belief system, not into a fairytale reality, but acknowledging my past experiences and asserting that I am no longer open to any more of those experiences, along with telling the universe exactly what I am open to, I believe will change my life.
How about you?
What patterns are you seeing in your relationships?
What is your inner dialogue telling you? (For more on your inner dialogue and how it may be sabotaging you, please visit Be.)
If it is anything like mine it is probably telling you not to trust people, not to let your guard down. Telling you that if you do, you will only get hurt.
Those words very clearly show the underlying belief that people are not trustworthy and are only looking to hurt me. If you live with that belief, the universe will go all out to make certain you are right, because, you see, the universe works that way. It is not out to “get you” it is out to “give to you”. It will give you exactly what you ask of it.
I would challenge you now to pick apart your beliefs about people, putting aside past hurt and betrayal and define a new reality for yourself. Ask more of the universe than to allow you to continue to be hurt. Ask it for what you really want, of course the key to that is to know what you really want.
That’s the second part of the equation. Meditate on your life, get a real vision for the types of relationships you see in it. Then put together a new belief system that supports what you truly want. I’ll give you a boost, a good mantra for something like this would be, I am open to a life full of rich, loving relationships, where my needs are important and met on a regular basis.
Whatever you really want, I guarantee you, you can manifest it in your life. You just have to focus and control your thoughts. I know how hard it can be to overcome your past, but the only way to the future you dream of, is in leaving that past behind and creating a new life with new experiences based on your new belief system.
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